Benedict Cumberbatch was asked what character he’d be if he was in Star Wars. This was his response.
So to preface this story you need to understand that my dad is bald, and that I find it really hard to sleep on planes.
So I was by myself on the 2nd of 2 planes over to England, which means I had been awake for somewhere around 30-something hours because I had a late night flight and literally don’t sleep on planes and that is a LONG trip.
I’m on a window seat and needed to go to the bathroom but didn’t want to disturb the couple I was sitting next to. But I somehow manage to fall asleep for like, 2 minutes. The people next to me stand up to go stretch their legs, and I wake up.
I’m so delirious from lack of sleep and disorientated from the 2 minute nap I did have, that my brain isn’t really working. Half of it goes ‘Oh, that’s good, the people next to me have moved, I can go to the toilet’ and helped me stand up. The other half of my brain is still focused on sleeping. It sees a big bald head in front of me and goes ‘Oh, that’s Daddy. I should give him a kiss goodnight.’
So I leant down and gave the bald head a tiny little kiss, and this huge 20 year old New Zealand guy turns around and goes ‘wHAT THE FUCK?’ and I panic. I go into survival mode and just start crying. And this guy is trying to stand up and look at me and is yelling at me ‘WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?? WHO ARE YOU?’ and flight attendants are heading towards us from both directions because we’re causing a scene and I’m just standing there crying going ‘I’M SORRY I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY DAD’ and he keeps going ‘DO I LOOK LIKE YOUR FUCKING DAD? DO I LOOK LIKE YOUR DAD?’ and I didn’t know what to say because he obviously thought that was a bad thing, but honesty is the best policy and so I was like ‘I mean, a little bit?’ and he’s like BRIGHT RED ABOUT TO EXPLODE WITH RAGE and the flight attendants get to us and they’re all ‘Is everything alright here?’ and this guy is losing it because I’ve told him he looks like a 50 year old man after kissing the top of his head unexpectedly, whilst I stand there with tears running down my face.
And he’s trying to explain that he’s angry because I gave him a kiss and I’m just sobbing out ‘I’m so sorry I’m so tired I didn’t mean to kiss him I’m so tired’ and I got moved to the back of the plane because he didn’t want me sitting behind him anymore incase I attacked him with more of my accidental affections.
But on the bright side they gave me a free glass of wine after I calmed down.
So the moral of the story is kiss strange men and you get free alcohol.
THIS IS TRULY THE WILDEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN AND I LOVE IT
oh my actual god
On a scale from the winter soldier
how intense is your eyeliner
Trying out the new slo-mo feature. Not the prettiest of catches, but still nailed it. #puglife #pug @quitobicoke #ios8 #slo-mo #video (at Humber Bay Park East)